Today we raise our fists high and put our hands together in celebration of our Feature Girl Warrior, Human Design Dating Coach, speaker, and host of the Love by Design™ Podcast, Joan Nwosu, who has been helping high-achieving women over 40 break generational love cycles and attract conscious, emotionally available partnerships. Born and raised in Nigeria, Joan spent 25 years as a corporate director and IT consultant with Canada’s top banks before her profound personal transformation led her to pioneer a revolutionary approach to conscious dating. After navigating 8 engagements, a divorce, and years of performing for love instead of being loved authentically, Joan discovered the life-changing power of dating by energetic design rather than societal scripts. As a 3/6 Transformational Guide in Human Design, Joan embodies the fierce wisdom of someone who has walked through fire and emerged as gold. She is the creator of The REAL Attraction Pyramid™ and founder of the Aligned Love Academy—a transformational 6-month journey for women ready to stop attracting from their wounds and start magnetizing from their wisdom. Joan’s voice carries the energy of the honorable warrior, teaching fierce alignment and the radical act of saying no to what doesn’t serve while saying yes to what honors wholeness. Her revolutionary message: “You don’t attract what you want—you attract what you BE.” And to that we say a loud and passionate YES!
How would you define a Girl Warrior?
A Girl Warrior is a woman who refuses to shrink to fit into societal expectations. She meets adversity with courage, embraces her authenticity, and transforms her pain into purpose. She has walked through fire and risen stronger, leading from fierce alignment to her truth. She trusts her inner knowing over conditioning, conformity, and outdated paradigms. A Girl Warrior is both her own voice and the voice of the women she empowers—fighting for what truly matters, for herself and the collective.
How did you reconcile the conflict around societal expectations vs. your inner calling?
I grew up with the script already written—education, corporate success, marriage, children. And on paper, I followed it. For three decades I looked like I had it all: awards, promotions, achievements. But inside, I was empty.
Eventually, the pressure broke through. I could no longer keep performing as the woman society wanted me to be. I became a radical non-conformist, questioning everything, refusing to be boxed in. Like crabs pulling me back into the bucket, people tried to keep me safe, but I knew I had to climb out and see what was on the other side.
Reconciling that conflict meant choosing truth over tradition. It meant quitting careers, moving countries, ending relationships, releasing religion, and letting go of everything that silenced my inner voice. For the first time, I said yes to myself—and no to the script.
Where does true fulfillment come from?
As a little girl, I learned about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and believed fulfillment was something you reached only after achieving success, wealth, and status. So, I chased it. And for years, I checked the boxes—career milestones, relationships, accolades—but still felt empty.
What I’ve learned is this: true fulfillment isn’t in roles, achievements, or even relationships. It comes from alignment—knowing who you are and honoring that truth in every part of your life. When you live as you are designed to be, doing what you are designed to do, fulfillment flows naturally.
For each of us it looks different, but the root is the same: wholeness comes when you stop performing for the world and start living in alignment with your real self.
What’s the difference between chasing your purpose vs. creating it?
For years, I chased purpose like it was a prize waiting outside of me. I copied other people’s scripts, believing the lie: “If you want what they have, do what they did.” I spent over a decade searching for purpose—and the harder I chased, the further it slipped away.
What I’ve learned is that purpose isn’t out there. It’s been within me all along. Purpose isn’t about chasing; it’s about allowing. When you surrender to flow and embody your truth, purpose emerges. Even the hard experiences become part of shaping it.
Purpose isn’t found—it’s created through alignment.
How did your love life mirror your career journey, and what was the breakthrough?
Both my career and love life were marked by constant pivoting—eight careers, eight engagements. I chased intensity and novelty, believing that was success, that was love. But underneath it was always the same drive: to prove my worth, win validation, and maintain an image of strength.
No matter the career or the relationship, the mirror was the same. Eventually, I had to face it: I didn’t know who I was. I had built armor—badass, resilient, untouchable—but inside, I was exhausted.
My breaking point came after a failed IVF, abandoned to endure miscarriage alone. For years I avoided the mirror, afraid it would confirm my worst fear: that I was flawed, unlovable, unworthy. But when I finally looked, I realized the truth. I wasn’t broken—I was misaligned.
That was the turning point. To find love and purpose, I first had to find Joan.
What is Human Design? How did you rewrite the script for love?
Human Design is a self-discovery system that maps how your energy is designed to work—in life and in love. It’s your energetic blueprint, your personal roadmap for relationships.
It reveals:
- Your Type → how your aura naturally interacts with others in love
- Your Authority → your inner compass for making aligned decisions
- Who you are → through your Profile
- What you’re drawn to → through your Centers
- How you give and receive love → through your Love Gates
- The kind of partner who aligns with you → through your Definition
- Where love is most likely to find you → through your Environment
For me, rewriting the script for love meant no longer chasing partners from wounds or conditioning, but aligning to my design. When I started honoring my Type, trusting my Authority, and dating as me, love stopped being a struggle. Alignment opened the door to conscious, lasting partnership.
How do women shift from performance and patterns into alignment in love?
The first step is awareness—understanding your unique design for love and recognizing the patterns you’ve been repeating. Often, those patterns come from the shadow expressions of your design, which show up as lessons. Awareness invites compassion—for yourself and for those past choices.
The second step is deconditioning—peeling away the “shoulds,” the wounds, and the scripts society handed you. This is the subtraction phase: removing everything that isn’t truly you.
Finally comes embodiment—living your design in its fullness, moving from shadow into gift. From this place, you stop performing for love or chasing connection. Instead, you date from truth, not fear. That’s where conscious love becomes possible.
What tools do you provide to help them?
I guide women with three core tools:
- Human Design → their energetic blueprint for life and love.
- The Love Gates Framework → revealing how they are uniquely designed to give and receive love.
- The Magnetic Dating System → practical strategies to attract aligned partners without overgiving, fixing, or performing.
Together, these tools help women return to their authentic selves, embody their natural magnetism, and call in love that matches their true design.
What was the most romantic thing ever done for you?
The most romantic thing ever done for me was a surprise, all-expenses-paid vacation to Cuba during one of the lowest points of my life. I was broke, jobless, and struggling with health issues—and he whisked me away to rest, laugh, and remember joy. It was one of the best vacations of my life.
What has been the hardest lesson for you to learn?
My hardest lesson was realizing that everything we were taught about love and marriage is orchestrated—and it doesn’t work. I learned this the hard way through eight engagements and countless heartbreaks. Each time, I reinvented myself to hold on to people I thought were “the one.”
In the process, I lost myself completely. I became unrecognizable—living out scripts from well-meaning family and friends instead of listening to my own inner voice. And yet, that voice was all I ever needed.
The journey back to myself has been the most painful—and the most rewarding—experience of my life.
What would you say to your younger Girl Warrior?
You are not broken. Stop trying to earn love by being more, doing more, or proving more. You are already worthy, exactly as you are.
Every challenge is part of your becoming, and it will get better. Never let the fire inside you burn out. The world may not understand or accept you—but you weren’t meant to fit in. You were meant to light the way for others.
Stay strong. Stay true. And never give up.
Who are your Girl Warrior heroes?
My Girl Warrior heroes are women who refuse to stay silent or small—women like Oprah, Maya Angelou, and Malala Yousafzai, who broke generational cycles and turned pain into purpose. Women like Glennon Doyle and Viola Davis, who chose alignment over approval and showed the world what it means to live unapologetically. These are the women who light the path, and they inspire me to keep walking mine.
Blue Sky it. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
In five years, I see myself leading the global conversation on conscious love—shifting how the world understands relationships and partnership.
The Aligned Love Academy will be an international movement, guiding women everywhere to stop performing for love and start attracting it through alignment. I will have published my book, sharing this work with millions.
I envision hosting a groundbreaking reality dating show that finally gets it right—one that helps people find love through authenticity, not performance. And I’ll be leading retreats across the world, where women rediscover themselves, reclaim their wholeness, and call in aligned love.
This isn’t just my dream. It’s my mission.
What books on your nightstand?
I’m an avid reader—usually 50+ books a year—mostly on love, spirituality, and personal development. Right now, on my nightstand you’ll find:
- You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz
- Be Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy
- Life Visioning by Michael Beckwith
Books are one of my greatest teachers, and I’m constantly feeding my mind and soul with wisdom that expands me and, in turn, the women I guide.
Living or dead, who would you have lunch with? Why?
I would have lunch with Princess Märtha Louise of Norway. After witnessing her divine union journey with Shaman Durek on Netflix, I felt such deep resonance. The way she embodies love, spirituality, and truth—while also breaking royal and societal expectations—mirrors so much of what I believe and teach. She chose alignment over approval, and I would have endless questions for her about living love as both a sacred practice and a revolutionary act.
Describe yourself in five words.
Resilient. Visionary. Authentic. Compassionate. Explorer.
Each of these words reflects both who I am and the journey I’ve walked—rising through adversity, holding a bigger vision, staying rooted in truth, leading with heart, and always seeking what lies beyond the edges.
If there were TV series about your life, what would it be called and who would play you?
“Aligned: She broke the rules, rewrote the script, and found love by design.” Played by Viola Davis because she embodies strength, vulnerability, and depth all at once.
To learn more about Joan head over to her Website at: joannwosu.com
Check out her Podcast: Love by Design on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/3NCBgAy4hJbUZAC1xAxh97?si=ee866cefc03d42b5
FREE Dating Archetype Report: https://joannwosu.com/dating-archetype
Miniseries: datingwithjoan.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/joan_nwosu
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/joannwosu
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@joannwosu
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alignedlovebydesign
