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Fountain of Youth.

Breadman's Daughter| Views: 883

Dear Beautiful Sarah Jane,

You saw my photograph and asked me, “If I found the fountain of youth?” On the one hand I took this to be a wonderful compliment, but I also saw this as an earnest question worthy of thoughtful reflection and consideration. It is however, a bit like asking, “what’s the secret or meaning of life?”  The short answer is, “I don’t know.”

The Fountain of Youth is something I’m not in search of.  Perhaps that’s the secret to finding it. Stop looking. What a gorgeous paradox this is.

I am now safely on the other side of young. But it wasn’t necessarily an easy journey getting here. Learning to accept that I am aging. Growing older in this Earth Suit that will one day expire. Accepting the changes to the way I look has at times been difficult.  I’m still startled and spooked by the old woman who stares hauntingly at me in the mirror.  But thankfully I’m less pre-occupied these days with hanging onto the young “me” I once was. I am now more interested in being well, in particular, well in my soul. Could be another secret Sarah Jane.

This is who I am now.

Today, in this photograph, I look like this.  Some days I look worse.  Tragic even.  Rod Stewart put it best in his song Maggie May, “the morning sun when it’s in your face really shows your age.”  It’s true.  Morning light can be a real buzz kill to an old broad like me.  Ah, but afternoon light, after a good night’s sleep and a cup of chai tea with someone you love, works miracles.  One more secret maybe Sarah Jane.

I have always looked younger than my age.  Possibly because I’m physically small and spiritually large.  I look inwards more than outwards.  I explore fearlessly my interior world and let the exterior grow out of that.  I meditate and do yoga every day.  Is there some clue in this practice Sarah Jane?

I eat well and wisely most of the time.  But then I also devoured a big bag of Lays potato chips last night.  I never go to bed with makeup on.  I brush my teeth three times a day. Take vitamins. Drink gallons of water daily. Laugh out loud a lot. I burp like a pig. I play music. Sing in the shower.  Sit in the shade on sunny days. Go for long walks up country roads.  Hang out with dogs and good people of all ages.  A secret there perchance Sarah Jane?

I love fashion. But ironically hate to shop, unless I’m with “my girls.”  Then it’s fun.  Especially if we stop for lunch and gossip.  I do love clothes though.  I’ve learned that if worn well, they cover up a whole host of not-so-pretty issues that develop as you age.  Some people probably think I dress inappropriately for my age.  I say fuck them.  Or that I’m too old to wear my hair so long and dye it red.  I say fuck those people too.  I swear.  And I’m unapologetic. I don’t know if there’s a secret in that Sarah Jane.

Then there’s just plain old luck and good genes.  My mother was Italian.  She was small physically, spiritually large and had beautiful flawless skin all the days of her life.  She also dyed her hair jet black right up until the very end when she was too ill to do so.  She taught me all the things I have just shared with you. Except she didn’t swear.

One last thing Sarah Jane, my sweet butterfly. Stay fierce about life in all its colors and complexities. Never let go of your curiosity and always stay close to the ones you love.